A man has anonymously admitted to reading the instructions for something. He thinks he got away with it as his partner was in the other room listening to a podcast. He is after advice in case she realises what he has done.
The anonymous bloke, unless his name is JackTheFrog, explained that he had got to the age of 36 without ever looking at instructions or the manual. He has always prided himself on his ability to figure out how things should go together.
On Saturday his partner insisted that they went to IKEA to buy a wardrobe. The plan was to have a relaxed Sunday putting it together.
fact: IKEA is Swedish for ‘that is three hours of your life you are not getting back’
He admits that he got everything out of the packaging and made a big show of putting all the cardboard packaging and instructions in the recycling bin. His partner did gently suggest he might need the instructions but he said, “Nah. I know what I’m doing”. She went into the kitchen and left him to it.
After half an hour he realised that he had no Idea where all the various dowels, cam studs and cam bolts went. “I hadn’t got a clue. I couldn’t go and get the instructions from the recycling bin as it was in front of the kitchen window and she would see me “. In a stroke of brilliance he looked on the IKEA website on his phone and found the instructions.
After two hours he had put it together and his girlfriend was impressed. She did say it was impressive that he’d done it without instructions. However he noticed “she was looking at me in a strange way which makes me think she knows I used instructions”.
He has called out for suggestions on what he should say if she’d seen him on his phone. One bloke came back “Tell her you were looking up something about the Roman Empire“. Another suggested “Tell her you were looking up a restaurant to take her”. He is after more advice.