Eli Twonk – The Daily Twerk

Pitbull dog standing on grass with a collar and lead

General

Pitbulls officially the most dangerous – especially when armed

The only country this could happen in is the USA. Owner shot by his dog. Orcas are thought to be involved.

By Eli Twonk

March 12, 2025March 12, 2025

Musk delivering a new Tesla car to Trump with the caption: COME ON DOWN TO ELON'S CAR SALE. PICK UP A BARGAIN SWASTICAR WHILE STOCKS LAST. Speech balloon from Trump: But will it depreciate in value? Speech balloon from Musk: It's lost $2000 while we've been talking Terms and conditions apply,. Note your car may not have any resale value. Special coatings available to make removing spray paint and swastikas easier. Also available badges as an Audi, Hyundai. Honda , Toyota or BMW. Service available as long as Tesla still exists.

General

Tesla: another happy customer

Musk has taken to personally delivering Tesla cars. Not sure if that will be appreciated for everybody. Trump tries to make boycotting Tesla illegal. Buying Tesla cars to become mandatory?

By Eli Twonk

March 11, 2025March 11, 2025

The collision of a buik fuel tanker and a container ship in the North Sea. Pollution can be seen on the surface

General

North Sea collision; good news for coastal waters

The collision has caused a spillage of fuel and other pollutants, but there is an upside due to the sewage running into the sea.

By Eli Twonk

March 11, 2025March 11, 2025

Rear shots of various Tesla cars with various different maker names and badges on including Toyota, Audi and Honda

General

Tesla drivers fed up with abuse try a simple hack

Feeling some of the backlash from people angry about Musk, the owners of Tesla cars are hoping one simple hack will help avoid attention.

By Eli Twonk

March 10, 2025March 10, 2025

Life Style

International Women’s Day; man annoyed they don’t have a special day

A bloke is annoyed saying they don’t have a special day, and got really annoyed when people told him they do. He feels victimised because he forgot being told last year.

By Eli Twonk

March 8, 2025March 8, 2025

Various country leaders seated around a table with the nation flags in the background

Politics

Ukraine talks in London: return Alaska to Russia offer

In a meeting with European leaders and Zelensky, the suggestion to offer Alaska to Putin in exchange for Ukrainian territory was discussed. As Trump is keen to give away land of other countries it is likely he would agree.

By Eli Twonk

March 6, 2025March 6, 2025

A child tied to a sack truck with a hockey mask looking like Hannibal Lecter

Life Style

School in Mansfield revises guidance for World Book Day

A school in Nottinghamshire has revised the costume guidance for World Book Day.

By Eli Twonk

March 6, 2025March 6, 2025

A red and white helicopter hovering a couple of metres above a grassy hill top. Hills with a light dusting of snow in the background. — Wikimedia

General

Helicopters: effective agents of social justice

The Labour Party have historically tried to address social justice issues, but helicopters have been much more effective.

By Eli Twonk

March 5, 2025March 5, 2025

Liam and Noel Gallagher — Dave Hogan/Getty Images

Music

Oasis reunion in doubt as new mediator steps in

With arguments and fights never far away with the Gallagher brothers, it was thought to be a good idea to have a mediator. On reflection Trump might not have been a good choice

By Eli Twonk

March 3, 2025March 3, 2025

Robert F Kennedy Jnr with the characters from Dumb and Dumber

Science

RFK Jnr: Measles just the beginning. TB and Polio next

Robert Kennedy and his advisors are excited about the progress with measles in Texas. As predicted, most supporters said they had it and survived.

By Eli Twonk

March 2, 2025March 2, 2025