After the recent weird utterances from Trump and Vance, and Trump’s strange performance at the National Association of Black Journalists convention the GOP are considering replacing them.
Following Trump’s bizarre performance at the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ) convention yesterday Republican grandees are reportedly 1 reassessing Trump’s suitability to run for president. Taking into account the other weird stuff he has said they are convinced that he lost the plot even by their standards.
letting loose with both barrels firmly aimed at his own feet
Given that JD Vance hit the ground running letting loose with both barrels firmly aimed at his own feet with his bizarre comments including those about women who own cats and women who don’t have children, replacing Trump and Vance together seems a good option. They think the replacements they have in mind will slot in nicely and that many won’t even notice the swap.
The benefits of swapping Trump and Vance with Statler and Waldorf are numerous. Firstly they are all Muppets. Statler and Waldorf are well practised at paying attention and reading the room. An important factor is S&W have never come out with a racist comment or inadvertently offended other people and have directed their aim firmly on the target. A Republican grandee was overhead by an unnamed source 2 to say that S&W were more likely to be popular with a broader base and less offensive.
At the NABJ convention in Chicago on Wednesday Trump was blustering and bizarre. He stated he was the best president since Abraham Lincoln for “the Black population”. The audience swung between incredulity and laughter at Trump. When he challenged that Kamala Harris would identify as Black. “She was Indian, and then all of a sudden she made a turn and she went black”. He said the last word with a contemptuous tone, as if he had a nasty taste in his mouth – buh-LAAAAA-kuh. He really wasn’t reading the room and was behaving strangely.
Of course he may have just been very confused as the audience was actually black. The people he is used to seeing with ‘Blacks for Trump’ on their tee-shirts are old white women who have a black belt in irony. He was probably expecting a lot of them there.
Republican grandees are reassessing all the other drivel he has come out with recently.
Magnets
In Iowa in January he claimed magnets don’t work under water. They do. “Now all I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that’s the end of the magnets.”
Pants
Also in Iowa he was rambling about some imaginary conversations with people about how he puts on his pants. “And I say, ‘Well, I don’t think about it too much.’ I don’t want to think about it because if I think about it too much maybe I won’t want to do it, but I love it because we’re going to do something for this country that’s never been done before.”
Weird pirate rant about Gettysburg address
Students of Trump’s rambling halfwit stand up routine will know that he regularly revisits the Civil War. He is not a fan of Abraham Lincoln and regularly criticises him. During a rally in April he took a stab at impersonating. Captain Jack Sparrow while misqouting General Robert E Lee. “Never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill.” They were fighting uphill. He said, “Wow, that was a big mistake.” He lost his big general. “Never fight uphill, me boys,” but it was too late.
“Cause it’s all downhill from here!”
His random weird rambling is causing concern that he is making the Republicans a laughing stock. “We may as well do it properly and get Statler and Waldorf onboard”.
The two Muppets were approached for a comment.
Waldorf: You know, Trumps campaign reminds me of Aspen.
Statler: Why Aspen?
Waldorf: Cause it’s all downhill from here!
1) When journalists use the word ‘reportedly’ it means they made it up but it should be true.
2) The use of the phrase ‘unnamed source’ also means that it is made up but the journalist is 100% certain that somebody said it although it may have been muttered quietly.