The re-introductions of plastic straws proved very popular among his followers. Trump is to capitalise on this to distract his zombie zealots from the wrecking of the government.
His magnificent orangeness was very pleased with how well his royal decree reinstating plastic straws was received. While he did this to protect his subjects from the exploding paper straws, he’s not certain that anyone cares.
There are plans to follow this up with the re-introductions of many other favourites from the 1950s and 1960s.
Asbestos
Trump is a fan of asbestos, “So beautiful. It is amazing stuff. So versatile. Do you know they used to use to create snow scenes in movies. They loved it. I love it.”
Lead paint
Trump has highlighted how long paints used to last. “Those bright treasures in Turenkham’s tomb lock great after thousands of years. They used lead paint. it is the best. So good. So smart.” His suggestion is that it’ll be better for me environment as people won’t need to decorate so often. All environmental people should support this. “,So good for the environment.”
Dioxin flavored water
“Nobody knows why we stopped having dioxin in tap water. The chemist companies never charged for it. It was out of the goodness of their hearts.” The chemist companies have told him that it protected the pipes from corrosion, even plastic ones. “I will bring back dioxin. A beautiful American chemical. So good.”
Lead in gasoline
Trump was never a fan of unloaded gas. “It costs a lot of people lots of money to get their cars converted. Engines using unleaded are more complicated and don’t last as long.” He will bring back leaded gasoline.
Get rid of health and safety
Everybody hates health and safety. Spoils the fun and slows things down. The Empire State Building was put up without health and safety (14 – 27 men died during construction). They built the Hoover Dam without health and safety (about 100 deaths during construction). It just gets in the way. Trump vows to get rid of it.