AI generated image of an apocalyptic eclipse scene
AI generated image of an apocalyptic eclipse scene

Texas eclipse; aftermath

Limited communication has been re-established with Texas. Earlier reports of raptures, human sacrifices and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have been denied. Warnings of faceless men and tentacled things are being shared.

During the totality fifteen minutes ago disturbing reports were coming from Texas. It appeared as if large numbers of people had raptured leaving piles of clothes behind where they were standing. This turned out to be one person coming across a pile of tossed laundry taking a photo with the caption ‘rapture time’.

Also, the reports of faceless men emerging from shadows calling on bystanders to release their soul hinges have not been substantiated yet. If you have been approached by a faceless man please contact us directly or via your next of kin .

Other states in the eclipse path are urged to warn their citizens about the tentacled things that emerge from the drains and sewers. For the most part they seem to be harmless, although they do seem to react badly to shouting and staring. Do not stare at them. Remember, it is rude to stare.

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Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

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