AI generated image of an apocalyptic eclipse scene
AI generated image of an apocalyptic eclipse scene

Texas eclipse; chaos and casualties

The eclipse has just reached totality in Texas. With communication systems affected, the available news is limited. Reports are coming in of mass raptures, human sacrifices and sightings of the four horsemen.

From the hysterical comments on social media it seemed inevitable that the perfectly natural eclipse would create a bizarre reaction in Texas.

As totality occurred there were garbled reports of piles of clothes on sidewalks as if the owners of the clothes had raptured and left their clothes behind. The reports of this being a proper rapture were denied by Christian Conservatives who had been left behind. They have declared it an ungodly ‘woke raptures’ and that all those who had been taken up had in fact gone to hell because surely they would have been taken up in a real rapture. Wouldn’t they?

In Austin there were reports of large numbers of people being sacrificed in the plaza outside the city hall. A messianic leader emerged in the chaos and decreed that everybody wearing cargo pants shorts or chinos must be sacrificed to appease the sun god.

Other garbled reports coming out of Texas indicate that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were seen in Houston. They were spotted in McGovern Centennial Garden in Hermann Park. Apparently they were splashing about in the fountains.

How entertaining was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.


Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You have free article(s) remaining. Subscribe for unlimited access. The limit is 5 free pages every 28 days.