AI generated image of Christians rapturing during an eclipse
AI generated image of Christians rapturing during an eclipse

Eclipse 2024; Christians warned insurance policies void if they rapture

Insurance companies in the USA have warned Christians that their life insurance policies do not cover rapture. Their families might be at risk of hardship if they don’t all rapture together.

Many Christians are expecting to rapture during the eclipse later today. Insurance companies have warned that no policies have ever been issued that include rapture events. In the event of a significant earner in a family rapturing and leaving dependents behind there is a significant risk of them being in severe financial hardship.

Advisors are suggesting that anyone planning to rapture should have an honest conversation with their family to determine if they are all true believers and have committed no sins.

Theologians have argued that anyone who raptures and leaves their family to suffer hardship is actually un-Christian. Anyone who chooses not to think of their families, or just doesn’t think of it, is more likely to go to Hell.

Satan has been approached for comment but was too busy preparing another pit for the anticipated influx of souls fated for an eternity of damnation.

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