First date advice for men, learn from an expert

It might be your first forray into dating, or maybe you have become single later in life. Whatever your circumstances this advice from a dating expert is essential reading. Dating expert Hal Iotosis has been on hundreds of first dates and has written a book.

That first date can be awkward and terrifying. Your first conversation with someone you’ve only exchanged messages with and seen in carefully selected pictures. How old were those pictures? Were they older than the ones you sent her? The ones before your forehead became your most prominent feature.

So you’ve managed to find the outfit that exudes your personality, doesn’t smell and doesn’t need ironing. You’ve picked the restaurant with the best reviews and the dim lighting that should disguise that the photos you sent were over 10 years old.

Times have changed since you last dated, or if this is your first then you won’t be hung up. Ignore all the advice from friends. The last time they dated was ages ago, or they have never dated. I’ve done this hundreds of times and have lived to tell the tale.

Once the food and wine are ordered comes the “so, tell me a bit about yourself” question. Be calm and remember, people might tell you that ladies hate it if a bloke hogs the conversation, but they like it when a man takes charge. Here are some tips for your date, and good luck.

Arriving late

If everything goes pear-shaped; you can’t find your bike clips, you ordered a taxi too late or you forgot what time it is, don’t panic. She will appreciate the extra time to look through the menu. Don’t rush and get flustered. Just breeze in all relaxed. If you don’t mention it then she is likely to think she got the time wrong.

Your Ex

It is a mistake to hide the fact that you have been in a relationship that has ended. She is going to want to know details in order to know what kind of man you are. All those times you brought her flowers from the petrol station, the chocolate that were on special offer and the trips to the restaurant on two-eat-for-the-price-of-one nights. How you put up with her boring friends from college who didn’t once take an interest in you just to make her happy. You might want to miss out things like when dividing up possessions at the split you took a chainsaw to the dining room table.

Personal issues

If you have been through a divorce or break up, or been alone for a time you are bound to have been depressed. Talking about it is good. Also dates are a lot cheaper than therapists. Tell her about the dark thoughts you’d sometimes have at 3 in the morning. How you’d taken to writing poetry. Even better, make sure you have a few examples of your poetry with you to read to her.

Playing on your phone

She is going to be interested in what attracts your attention so share and show her what games you play. You’ve probably got some great tactics and strategies so share them with her. You’ll probably be doing her a favour. Don’t be shy of whipping your phone out and sharing with her.

Talking politics

What’s the one thing that effects us all? No, not the itchy arse. Politics. It’s important to know whether your date is a fascist or not. Telling her about your political stance is important. This might be a good opportunity to ask her some questions. Have print of a political opinion handy and ask her to answer questions. This is a great ice breaker

Sex talk

Let’s be honest. Any good relationship is headed to a roll in the bed and playing dip the sausage. You know it. She knows it. Again, honesty and transparency are integral to a fulfilling relationship. Talking about the sex you had with your ex, the things that worked, those that didn’t and the things you would have liked to have tried but she just wasn’t ready for is good. If this is your first date just tell her about the research you did on Pornhub and what you liked in particular

Dealing with bad reactions

In my experience some women aren’t ready for honesty from a man. So so far this is 125% which is quite amazing. On a few occasions waitresses have joined in misunderstanding what I’ve been saying.

If you are unlucky enough to have the type of woman who gets angry during the date there are many foolproof ways to calm women down.

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