FIFA are concerned that sober fans might come to the realisation that the glorious game is just a load of blokes kicking a ball about for 90 minutes.
With under 2 months to go to the launch of the 2024 World Cup tournament in Dubai, FIFA are secretly expressing concerns that sober fans might suddenly realise how boring football is. One of the conditions of the hosting country is that the event will be alcohol-free.
There is evidence that many fans have not quite grasped what that means. Many still think that weak lager counts as alcohol-free.
FIFA have carried out trials of alcohol-free games only to find that large numbers of fans disappeared at halftime to search local supermarkes to find drink. Those kept in the stadium started getting restless and fidgety after 30 minutes.
Some started doing crossword puzzles, others brought out playing cards for games of Gin Rummy. At one match there was an outbreak of people playing chess. Nobody knows where the chess sets came from.
In interviews many of the match goers commented that it was a bit boring without a drink and a sing-song.