Demonstrating his growing prowess at giving non-answers, the minister for blandly ignoring human rights abuse made a statement.
In an interview with the BBC he confidently stated that Qatar was had taken “real steps” to protect gay fans at the World Cup. Of course he was unable to articulate what any of these steps were, but presumably they were real ones, probably some of the best steps available since Dub Step.
The evidence from the streets of Qatar showed that the steps to protect gays included getting people to take of rainbow hats in case they accidentally ate them and choked, removing One Love armbands in case they caught on a door handle and pulled their arm off, and finally removing rainbow shirts in case they inflicted fashion harm.
Thank you Qatar for making the gay and LGBTQ community feel safe and thank you James Cleverly.