Scientists discover that chemtrails contain retardium chlorate which has a devastating effect when inhaled by people who ate crayons at school.
A team from Bellend University have been talking air samples beneath flight paths across the country. Using state of the art fancy equipment that has lots of flashing lights and tubes they have identified a key component of chemtrails. A novel compound they have named retardium chlorate.
They have spent the past year characterising this previously unknown substance. It is both odourless and colourless. Impossible to detect by laboratories unless they have machines with at least 9 flashing lights on them. Further analysis demonstrated that it easily crossed the blood-brain barrier and accumulated in brains.
For most people the accumulation of retardium chlorate in the brain had no discernible effect. They did find that for a particular group of people it had devastating consequences. For those people who had spent their school days chewing crayons, the combination of the residual crayon wax in their bodies with the retardium chlorate is devastating.
The ciombination of crayon wax and retardium chlorate caused these people to lose up to 70 IQ points and become extremely gullible. In the severest cases the IQ loss caused them to have a negative IQ.