With the findings that the River Lim in Dorset is ecologically dead, we approached the river for comments. River Lim admits that it made mistakes.
The Lim is a short river that runs through the tourist town of Lyme Regis in Dorset. Various ecologists have found that this river is now devoid of aquatic life. It used to be clean enough for Brown Trout and eels to live in. Kingfishers used to live by the river. Now the only thing that lives in it is E.Coli bacteria.
The collapse in the ecosystem occurred because of sewage releases and leakage from broken pipes. In 2022 there were 2200 hours of sewage spillage, 680 hours in 2021 and 376 hours in 2020. South West Water are taking this very seriously and might get round to looking at it in 2025.
We decided to speak to Lim for a first hand insight. So I put on my hazmat suit and wade into the river.
Eli: tell us a bit about yourself.
Lim: I’m quite short as rivers go, just 5 miles long. In that short distance I get up to all sorts of stuff. Through meadows, between houses out into the sea at a lovely place.
Eli: How do you get on with the humans?
Lim: For most of my life have got on okay with them. They’d come and collect Trout and eels occasionally. Did you know they used to use eels as currency? I wasn’t best pleased when they put part of me in a culvert but I didn’t complain. I’ve rarely ever flooded so we got on okay.
Eli: So when did that change?
Lim: About 5 years ago I started smelling something bad and it’s just been getting worse ever since. It seems that some sewage pumping stations had started leaking. It’s all gone down hill from there. The sad thing is I am good friends with the sea and am not happy about dumping all that shit into the sea.
I could have let them have loads of eels but it’s too late now. No eels left.
Eli: Anything else you feel sorry about?
Lim: Well in some ways I feel partly responsible…
Eli: Really? How so?
Lim: Well for a long time it’s been obvious that neither the current Conservative MP Chris Loder or his predecessor Oliver Letwin have any interest in the environment. Friends suggested that I make donations to the Tory party so they’d take an interest but I didn’t. I could have let them have loads of eels but it’s too late now. No eels left. It’s my own fault really.
At that point I left Lim sadly making glooping noises as a turd the size of a guinea pig slowly made its way to the sea.
This image is owned by John M and is licensed for reuse under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 license