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Noem: more arrests announced

Following the arrest of the girlfriend of the head of ANTIFA, Mrs Claus and the brother of Easter Bunny are also in custody.

Kristi Noem, well known puppy killer and head of Homeland Security, has been on a roll. Following the arrest of the girlfriend of the head of ANTIFA, other high profile arrests have been made. Santa Claus has been on Homeland Security’s list for a while. As he has entered the USA illegally with no documentation and entered people’s properties without consent he is considered to be a criminal.

So far Homeland Security have only been able to apprehend Mrs Claus. In a statement they have announced that they have a little old lady obviously carrying fake ID with a different name, but it’s definitely her.

The other high profile fugitive of interest is the Easter Bunny. He has come under suspicion for giving away chocolates and other sweets to young children. There is definitely something subversive and sinister about this activity. They managed to find his brother and have taken him in for questioning. Noem declared that he is definitely the Easter Bunny’s brother as he fits the description. Long ears. Furry. Twitchy nose.

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author

Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

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