As the end of the summer term approaches the ritual horror of the school fête is unleashed on parents. The PTA have put a couple of hours thought and planning into it. Know what to expect.
Experienced parents already know what to expect. They know that the children will love it. A chance to hang out with their school friends. For the older ones who are running stalls they get a chance to boss the younger children about.
Those who have had experience of the traditional burning of meat on the BBQ run by other parents will make sure they have something to eat before they go to the fete. They can look on with satisfaction as rookie parents are presented with cheap nasty carbonised sausages in a bun cooked by parents with no previous experience of cooking on a BBQ.
With only a few hours actual planning the stalls are pretty much the same as the previous year. There will be the parent with no artistic skill who bought a cheap face painting set off eBay a few years ago. Your children will end up looking like extras from the Walking Dead. Take a tissue and water to clean them up before an over zealous first aider puts them in the recovery position.
There will be a pile of junk hastily put together by a few PTA members emptying their lofts. A badly designed sign with Tombola written on it will be proudly dumped on top of the pile.
Marge O’Reene is a veteran of her son’s school PTA. She was cornered on the first day that she took her son to school. Vulnerable and emotional on this momentous day, she was easy prey for the then PTA chair, Sue Narmee. O’Reene is now chair and uses exactly the same strategy to recruit new PTA members.
O’Reene and the other PTA members had suggested that they just donate a load of money and not bother with the fête. Save everyone the hassle of running it. Unfortunately the headmaster is keen on the fête as it is his one time of the year that he can appear to be fun. The sad inevitability of the ‘throw the wet sponge at the headmaster’ stall runs for another year.