With the global outage of the X platform there have been reports of angry hordes indulging in strange behaviour such as shouting at traffic lights and waving their fists at clouds
Around 10am (GMT) this morning the open sewer formerly known as Twitter suffered a global outage. The website stopped working and the apps would not refresh messages.
Deprived of their normal outlet for rage and anger, X users were soon being reported shouting at traffic lights, shaking their fists at clouds, stamping on manhole covers, kicking trees and a range of other strange behaviours. One thing they all had in common was a phone in one hand and occasional jabbing at it and yelling, “Work you piece of shit!”.
A psychologist, Dr Mendinde Aikenhead, has given an insight into this bizarre behaviour. “People on X get locked into Angergasm Syndrome. They need to regularly express anger in order to get their dopeymeme fix. When deprived of their normal outlet, X, they do not have a mechanism to calmly move on to doing something else”. He also explained that regular surges of dopeymeme causes brains to shrink and the affected people become highly suggestible and lose intelligence.