Keir Starmer. This image is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.

Starmer’s policies are going to be bad: The Telegraph

The Telegraph sounds the alarm on Starmer’s policies including filling pot holes with the bones of the dead, eating dogs, banning Christmas and making public singing illegal.

The Telegraph is known as a balanced and reliable source of news. Following hot on the announcement of the general election on 4th July by that bloke in the rain The Telegraph have done their best to enlighten both their readers with what Starmer will have as his policies.

Pot holes

Under Starmer’s regime bones of loved ones will be collected from funeral homes and used to fill pot holes. “It’s all part of his woke insanity on climate change”.

Eating dogs

Everyone knows that they are eating dogs in North Korea and, errr, Starmer wants to be Kim Jong Un because the North Korean dictator is a dictator and Starmer sounds like a dictatory name. We will all have to be obedient to Kim Jong Starmer and gobble up them puppies.

Christmas will be banned

Lefties hate Christmas and want Muslims to take over the world because… well we just like saying it and it gets weak minded bigots wound up cos their not very good at the thinky stuff. If you post Merry Christmas you get banned on social media apparently, although we’ve not got any proof and it sounds right.

There will be no singing

Starmer wants to ban Britain’s Got Talent… err actually we are in favour of that as well. Go Starmer!

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Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

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