Rats used to be the bane of everyone’s lives. Now it is children. It used to be easy to avoid them; just keep away from playgrounds and parks. Now they are spreading and becoming impossible to avoid. Questions are being asked of the Home Secretary.
Evidence from social media posts and grumpy people proves that we are experiencing unprecedented levels of children. They are everywhere. Shops, streets, cinemas, restaurants and airplanes. All over run with children. Authorities are struggling to come up with a solution. They are advising people to be vigilant. Not to carry sweets, snacks or fizzy drinks on them. If they have eaten something sweet people should wash their hands thoroughly so the smell doesn’t attract children.
Fast food outlets are placing sanitation stations by their doors so customers can clean their hands as they leave. Home Secretary Suella Braverman is looking into the matter. It is believed that wokeness has been the root cause of this menace. There’s no direct evidence, but someone made up a graph that plotted wokeness against children and proved categorically that woke was causing the end of civilization.
An eradication specialist, Mr P Piper, has offered a solution, however he does want payment in advance. He said “I can resolve your child infestation problem really easily. Unfortunately I got shafted on another job and they never paid. That is why it has to be cash in advance”.
