Enormous turd found in Thames

There were reports of an enormous turd bobbing about in the Thames last week. The river is known for sewage releases but even river sewage experts were in awe.

Russell Brand is now embracing Christianity in search of a faith will give him the greatest social media response. Last week he chose to be very publicly baptised in the Thames. Most people are content to have this done in a church.

Brand was very low key and treated this solemn ritual with the grace and dignity that was appropriate by splurging it all over social media.

Onlookers who were unaware of the event reported an enormous hairy turd floating in the river. An expert on sewage in rivers, Therese Coffey, posted that she was in awe, “I managed to oversee a lot of turds in rivers, but nothing on this scale”. She was disappointed to learn that it wasn’t a proper turd but consoled herself with, “I’m sure he still counts as excrement”.

Therese Coffey was the former Minister for Maximising Pollution, and for berating river swimmers complaining about sewage with, “They’re just turds. Swim around them”.

How entertaining was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.


Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You have free article(s) remaining. Subscribe for unlimited access. The limit is 5 free pages every 28 days.