Bashar Al-Assad and Vladimir Putin shaking hands.

Assad announces he is doing fine but hoping for somewhere warmer

The former Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad is enjoying Moscow, but it’s cold. He talks of a possible career change. He was never comfortable with politics.

Bashar Al-Assad wants to assure his friends that he is fine and enjoying his break in Moscow. “My buddy Vladdy has been very welcoming and arranged for a lovely house for me and my family”. He thinks it will only be temporary as he overheard Vladdy saying to one of his aids that ‘He won’t be here long’. That’s fine with Al-Assad as he is finding Moscow a bit cold.

He always preferred a quiet life without drama. At University doing his medical degree he was known to be reserved and a bit of a loner. “I never was one for crowds and lots of people in general. That’s why I moved from being a doctor. Talking to patients was always awkward”. This was why he moved to opthalmology. “The conversations are a lot easier; is that better or worse?”.

His wife wants them to live in a bungalow – no high windows to fall out of.

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