Jacob Rees-Mogg

My brother did not deserve this. Jakey is devastated

Excruciata Reees-Mog shares the impact of her brother’s electoral defeat and how it has affected the family.

Hello my lovelies. Oh the horror! The peasants have revolted. My darling Jakey is in fear for his life. When he telphoned at 6 this morning it was obvious he was in shock. “Nanny. Why do the peasants hate me?”, over and over again. It was very distressing for me to hear him like this.

Along with his family they had been barricading the doors and windows in fear of a horde of peasants attacking them. He assured me that they had loaded all the shotguns and had them scattered strategically around the house. He was anticipating a horde with pitchforks and torches invading.

He is also planning to hide in various locations so we might be putting the family up in one of our stable conversions.

I feel it is terrible that the people of Somerset have shown such a lack of loyalty and appreciation. I will not be visiting that area again.

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Excruciata Reees-Mog

A sophisticated woman from a prominent family living her best life when she can get the staff to look after her house and grounds. With all her travel she has a very large carbon footprint. She is working on it and hopes to double it in 2024. Has a brother she calls Jakey

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