Rishi Sunak in a field with a unicorn
AI generated image by openart.ai

Please vote for me or the unicorn gets it…

In a last desperate plea for votes Sunak throws down an ultimatum to the British people.

With the electoral oblivion all but certain Rishi Sunak is desperate to get votes. He has issued a heartfelt promise that the Tories will get round to do all the things they never quite managed before.

“You want the infected blood scandal sorted? We’ll do it. Getting the Postmasters affected by the Royal Mail Horizon miscarriage of justice compensated? I’ll pay them personally.”

The list continued, “The doctors pay settlement? Of course we’ll crack on with that. Those 40 hospitals? Consider them built. The record number of potholes? I’ll lead a crack team of cabinet ministers and we will personally fill them. RAAC affected buildings will be sorted in the first week.

As a sinister footnote he assured people that if they didn’t vote Tory then a unicorn would suffer a grim fate…

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author

Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

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