In a rare study actual scientists, rather than political scientists who pretend they are scientists, have revealed the fundamental mechanisms underlying why 2023 is going to be a crap year.
While numerologist and astrologists have been doing whatever it is that they do and found out that people called Brian shouldn’t be getting on trains heading north in 2023, proper scientists have been feeding all available information into various AI systems. For comparison they also shredded all the data and fed it to a goat and then observed any patterns in the goat shit. Amazingly the goat shit spelt out words that agreed with the AI systems.
“Actually it’s blindingly obvious” said Professor Sandra Maynard (41), who was not wearing a lab coat or smoking a pipe. “2023 will be more crap than 2022 because not only has nothing changed, but will continue deteriorate”. Prof Maynard (brunette) went on to explain the crucial factors why things will be crap.
We have had 12 years of stupid people voting for governments that have repeatedly demonstrated that they don’t give a fuck about those stupid people who keep voting for them. They have consistently reduced funding for all the essential services and infrastructure of the country. Now that there’s a cost of living crisis they are advocating more cuts when there’s nothing left to cut.
people can vote in ‘I’m a Celebrity get me out of here, or they can vote in elections, but they shouldn’t be able to vote in both
They did demonstrate in 2020 that they could suddenly come up with money, but only to their mates to provide, or pretend to provide, PPE that wasn’t usable, or develop system that didn’t work.
Tearing her hair and looking a bit manic “surely their voters should have spotted they are taking the piss when £500 million was spent on the Nightingale Hospitals that were never used. I bet some of their mates got loads of money to build them”.
At this point Prof Maynard broke down in tears muttering about stupid people.
It was left to the goat to come up with a solution; to stop stupid people from voting. After various solutions were mathematically modelled the optimum solution was “people can vote in ‘I’m a Celebrity get me out of here, or they can vote in elections, but they shouldn’t be able to vote in both“.
Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/scientists-experimenting-in-the-laboratory-9243587/