Washing the dishes because you feel guilty about having had an affair is likely to alert your partner that you are guilty of something. There are other tell tale things that will give you away.
When your wife catches you unexpectedly washing the dishes she is going to want to know what has happened. She will not believe your off the cuff remark about how you thought you needed to help out more.
Decorating
Hugh Jass (47) knew that he had to do something to distract his wife so the obvious thing was to decorate the front room which he had been promising to do for the last six years. His wife and her friends had joked that if he decided to do it without weeks of constant nagging that would be the day she’d know. She knew.
Cooking a meal
For most of his life Tim Burr (Capricorn) had been a keen fisherman, however his wife had been having doubts about his fishing weekends. He seemed to be coming back just a bit too clean. A while ago she had popped into the tackle shop for birthday present ideas, but was surprised when the owner assumed he had given up as he hadn’t bought any bait for ages.
She had been out with friends and came home to find he had returned early and was cooking a meal for them. “Did you catch something dear?” She asked. Quick as a flash he answered “I certainly did”. “Well just make sure I don’t catch it from you”.
Volunteering to attend the school fair
When Phil McCracken (Brut) volunteered to take the kids to the school fair he might as well have got a Tee-shirt printed with “I’ve been having an affair”. No one volunteers to go to the school fair.
Taking more care over his appearance
Jack Hoff was still wearing his Linkin Park and Red Hot Chilli Peppers Tee-shirts from the noughties every day until a month ago. He would wear one all week and rarely showered. Suddenly he started buying new clothes, shaving and wearing aftershave. What a schmuk. What a giveaway.