Old white man with a grumpy expression on his face. He is wearing a Santa hat with two white pig tails hanging down. He is wearing a black jumper with the collar of a Christmas shirt showing.

Yo ho ho and you can stick your mince pies

Santa isn’t feeling it this year, and has definitely had enough of mince pies especially some of the abominations leave out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your brat wants a Playstation, but the model with the larger drive and DualSense controllers. Well he’ll get whatever’s in my sack.

Santa really isn’t keen on the mince pies left out for him. “Seriously, who would want to eat millions of mince pies?”. He isn’t too keen on home made ones. “I’ve seen the kitchens that these people use. Most people have no idea of hygiene. The last thing I need is a dose of the shits when I’m on my rounds’.

The carrots people leave out aren’t going anywhere near his reindeer. “They are elite performance animals. They have a precision diet with a careful balance of nutrients.”

“So yo ho ho. Have a merry Christmas and stick your mince pies up your arse”.

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author

Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

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