In an astounding change of career, outdoors adventurer and adrenaline junkie Bear Grylls has announced he is hanging up his machete. You’ll never guess what he is planning next, although the headline might have given it away. Need to rethink that.
Having tired of adventurin and surviving on sheep’s eyeballs and urine, Bear Grylls has announced that he is giving it all up to reform the Village People. At a photoshoot to publicise the move he told a reporter for another news organisation that he had “climbed every mountain. Forded every stream. He’d followed every rainbow and now would his dream.”, he went on to say that he’d followed every highway.