Enjoy going on social media and being grumpy? Not sure if you are making the most of the opportunities? Moaning about children is always a good go-to, but have you covered all the possibilities?
Moaning about children is always a popular topic on social media, and just generally. The social media accounts of various tabloid newspapers usually provide at least one good kiddy bashing opportunity a week.
Restaurants
Obviously parents only ever take children to restaurants to annoy other people. They encourage them to run up and down, scream and have tantrums on the floor. How could you possibly be expected to enjoy your MacDonald’s happy meal with children about?
Cinemas
Why do parents take children to cinemas to watch Disney and Pixar films and spoil your enjoyment of the latest vacuous animation or live action remake of a cartoon? They should obviously lock them up at home and stick them in front of the TV.
Playing outdoors
It is obviously terrible that parents let their children stare at screens all day and are not making them go outside to play. They should be playing outside like we did. Having adventure, playing football and getting up to japes.
Kids playing football, playing and making a noise is annoying. It’s got to where I’m terrified of leaving the house to go to the gym.
Respecting elders
Obviously children do not respect their elders like what we did. Socrates complained “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise … They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”. Bad ancient Greek children.
Airports
It’s absolutely appalling that children find any fun opportunities by riding on the suitcase trollies. Some parents even enable this terrible fun behaviour by buying them suitcases that they can ride on. This obviously leads to delinquent behaviour.
Air flights
This is a great topic for getting a good grump-on. Not only can you moan about children, but you can wax sanctimonious about the parents. Even though 99% of the time children on flights sit quietly in their seats watching cartoons on their tablets, it is important that you focus on that one time that you read about a child who got bored and started whining. It is of course unacceptable that the parents didn’t start shouting and beating the child into submission rather than calmly trying to divert the child’s behaviour.
The issue of seat allocation is a good topic to moan about. A favourite is a parent asking if someone could swap seats so they could sit together with a young child. The grumpy answer is of course, no!
This comes about because airlines don’t do the reasonable thing and automatically put young children with parents. They are made to pay a premium to select seats which parents with young children often can’t afford. The answer is of course that they shouldn’t go on foreign holidays if they can’t afford to pay seat allocation premiums, even though domestic holidays are often more expensive. The important thing is that it is the parent’s fault and you should not be expected to be reasonable and obliging.
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