The Secretary of State for Pollution is loving the attention that the Home Secretary is getting. Everyone is so busy with the sewage coming from Suella Braverman’s mouth that no-one is bothered about her river sewage.
Thérèse Coffey is really enjoying the Suella Braverman show and is even sending her suggestions on what she can come out with next. She allegedly has suggested the Home Secretary should propose sending old people to Rwanda (they’ll like it there as it is much warmer), sending children who attend State Schools down coal mines or up chimneys (less money needed for education and no need to fix the schools that have become dilapidated under the Tories) and putting anyone who doesn’t vote Tory in internment camps (that will stop any protests).
While nearly everyone is horrified at Suella Braverman’s blatant interference with Policing and her attacks on homeless people, Thérèse is overjoyed that no-one is pestering her about the raw sewage bobbing about in the rivers. She never did understand why people swimming in the rivers and sea were complaining, “How big are these turds? Swim round them you lazy gits”.
Thérèse Coffey did have plans to tackle sewage problem in rivers, but now she is sitting about doing nothing. “We have enough chaos going on to last out the remainder of this parliament then I’m off for a cushy number somewhere”.