Rishi Sunak has expressed frustration at the lack of attention his important announcements are getting. He puts this down to too many distractions. Ecologist are singled out as worst culprits.
me Recent polling hashown a devestating lack of awareness of Rishi Sunak.and his policies. When asked who he is, the top 63% of responses included: a children’s TV presenter, a TV chef, the bloke who invented a spice (sumac).
ground squirrels for fuck sake!
The PM lamented the number of distractions in the world for interfering with his messages getting through. Top of the list was Boris Johnson who always managed to make the news about him. “Not one, but two stories! Then there’s Nadhim Zahawi and his forgotten millions, Dominic Raab and the bullying allegations”.
Handball can’t be more interesting than me
Away from politics, there are other distractions such as the Masked Singer, Love Island, and many more. “I understand that sport is always a popular distraction, but surely not the World Handball Championship! Handball can’t be more interesting than me..”.
Rishi was particularly annoyed that a paper from 1968 about ground squirrels surviving nuclear bomb tests got more attention than he did. It got 2.5 views per year. “Ground squirrels for fucks sake! How can an old ecology paper be more interesting than me?”.
He is considering going on the Masked Singer to get more attention, but only knows one song – the theme from Star Wars. Dah dud do dar…