The Labour Party have historically tried to address social justice issues, but helicopters have been much more effective.
Over many decades the Labour Party has focused on social justice issues, although the current administration is suffering from myopia in this direction. The fundamental source of social injustice are low wages and brutal employment practices such as zero hours contracts, hostility to employment rights such as sick leave and resistance to unions.
All these issues have two thing in common. Millionaires and billionaires. Get rid of some of these and the amount of social injustice goes down. While ‘eat the rich’ is a common refrain it is impractical. It would require a large volume of marinade to make them even remotely palatable. To overcome all that twisted bitterness would also require marinading for a long time. Not only are there practical problems, it would be expensive.
Millionaires love helicopters. Because their time is so precious they can pop into London for brunch at The Savoy, onto Cowes to sip wine on their yatch in the afternoon and catch a performance at Glyndebourne in the evening. The poor dears could never hope to achieve this in a car or by train.
The useful thing about helicopters with respect to social justice is their ability to have mechanical failures. To be honest it’s amazing that any of them stay in the air long enough to get anywhere. The most effective way to get rid of a millionaire is to stick them in a helicopter, and the great thing is that they pay for the privilege of hurtling to the ground screaming.
Helicopters have done more for social justice than the Labour Party has ever managed. Perhaps they should introduce a tax break specifically to encourage millionaires to buy helicopters.
Based on a conversation overheard at Alexi Sayle’s Imaginary Sandwich Bar.