An Executive Order has made every month 30 days long because Agent Orange gets confused with different month lengths.
The Orange Imbecile has never got his head round how to figure out the number of days in the various months. He can never remember the rhyme and the knuckle method doesn’t work for him as he can’t remember the order of the months.
Somebody suggested sarcastically that he makes all the months 30 days long. The Buffoon from the Orange Lagoon thought it was a great idea. Of course he didn’t see any problems as he had no idea how many days there are in a year and because he can’t do arithmetic.
After he quickly drafted the Executive Order with his crayon set the last remaining scientist pointed out that 30 times 12 is 360. With 365 days in most years (except leap years) there was a problem. After several hours trying to work out how many days difference there was, the Gifted One made up another month called Trumpember which had five and a quarter days.
With no 31st March, yesterday was the 1st April in the USA.
We thank Robert Reich for breaking this news.