Enquiry following discovery that UK accidentally shipped tractors to Ukraine

Recent battlefield video shows a Russian Ka-52 attack helicopter opening fire on what the crew believed was a Leopard 2 tank.

Imagine their surprise when analysts examined the monitoring video and discovered the target looked nothing like a tank, nevermind a Leopard 2 tank. Experts suggested it is likely it was a John Deere 4830.

Enquiries in Whitehall about missing John Deere tractos were eventually directed to someone in the Department for Business who was pleased to hear we had found their tractors. An unnamed official told us that they knew something was wrong when a farming collective in Wiltshire had contacted them. They had been bemused when they took all the bubble wrap off to find tanks instead of tractors.

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A Ministry of Defence spokesman commented, “with so many consignments being exported it’s not surprising that mix ups happen”. Sheepishly he admitted that they’d hoped nobody would notice the difference. He promised that it would be added to the list of enquiries.

A Russian official later commented that they had absolutely known it was a tractor, but that tractors were very dangerous. He forwarded the recognition chart issued to Russian forces, and said it would be updated shortly to include the John Deere Leopard 2.

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