A man has described how he lost 30 minutes of his life in the toilet in a Tesco store. The impact on his family will be lasting and he doesn’t feel he can use supermarket toilets ever again. Experts on ThikTok have been consulted.
Harry Balsack was with his wife and daughter doing their Saturday shopping in Tesco’s as they do every week. Balsack needed to go to the toilet and made his way to the facilities near the checkouts. After having lightened his load he reached for the toilet paper. That is when the problems started.
Balsack reached under the toilet roll holder and spun it round with his finger tips to find the free end. He spun it round several times but nothing. With confidence he decided to spin the toilet roll in the other direction. Nothing. He started frantically spinning it one way and the other. Changing tactic he slowly rotated the roll pinching at it.
After 15 minutes he checked his pockets to see if he had a tissue or something similar he could use. No joy. He licked his finger tips to try and get some more grip on the paper. He was beginning to contemplate just pulling his boxers up and going home with shifty pants when he felt the free edge with his fingertip. Carefully he pulled the free end. Hooray! A few wipes and he was done.
When he left the toilets his family was waiting for him. His wife was furious. “What the fuck! What were you doing in there? Watching porn while we were waiting out here?”. A security guard came over “I see you’ve found him. Watching porn in the toilet?” Balsack tried to deny it but no-one was listening to him. He vowed never to use supermarket toilets again.
When he mentioned this on ThikTok he got lots of useful feedback such as “Dude what!”, “Should have wiped your arse with your pants and gone commando”, “Wah wah”.