The government response to the nurses and ambulance strikes has been to send a startled rabbit (ministers for health) around news studios to tell people not to do anything risky. Will Quince’s main contribution was to tell people that he wasn’t going running on icy roads,
Sod that. To fill in where the government won’t provide, here is a useful guide to risky behaviour to avoid.
- Don’t use nail guns when drunk
- Don’t use an electric saw standing on a ladder with one leg reaching high
- Don’t stomp around on planks with nails in wearing trainers
- Don’t write lists on your phone while driving
- Don’t use a machete without wearing thick leather gloves
- Don’t try and chainsaw a branch overhanging a river while balanced precariously on the edge of a boat
- Don”t use an axe that has a loose head
- Don”t take a short cut from the balcony of a squash court by jumping down after retrieving a ball
- When you’ve reached a halfway shelf on a long climb, don’t take a step back to view the next pitch
- Don’t trust someone else to tell you the power is off when rewiring lights fittings
Note, this list is not exhaustive.