Rishi Sunak

Sunak resigns to spend more time catching up on Sky TV

Following the Tory party’s cataclysmic defeat Rishi Sunak has announced that he will be resigning as Tory party leader. This will give him more time to catch up with what he missed out on during his impoverished childhood.

After a night with large numbers of Tory MPs losing their seats the party is battered Sunak has announced that he will resign as Tory leader.The Conservatives lost 250 seats in a night that saw the Labour Party achieve 412 wins. Notable Tory losses include Penny Mordaunt, Liz Truss, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Grant Shapps, Justice Secretary Alex Chalk and Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan, Veterans Minister Johnny Mercer, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan, Culture Secretary Lucy Frazer and Chief Whip Simon Hart.

Sunak revealed his childhood hardship during the campaign when he revealed that he was no able to watch Sky TV as a child. He will now be spending lots of time binge watching all the old shows on Sky to make up for lost time.

In the meantime the Tory party will go through a period of ritual blood letting and a lurch to the hard right as they decide where they went wrong was not being extreme and vicious enough.

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author

Karsic Karl

From Bristol I have a particular interest in gaming, pizza and energy drinks. Keeping up to date with technology and the dystopian invasion of the internet of things and subscriotion based basic services.

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