The interim analysis from the test of the UK emergency alert system has revealed that 31% of the UK population have shit for brains.
The first test of the mobile phone based emergency alert system was carried out yesterday. This relies on broadcast messages on the 3G and 4G networks.
Analysis of the social media response indicates that 5% of people don’t understand that the phones have to be on, have a signal and have 3G or 4G capability.
Despite several weeks of intense TV, newspaper and social media coverage about what the purpose of the emergency alert system is for and expected scenarios, nuclear attack alerts are NOT mentioned, about 22% of people kept banging on about nuclear attacks.
About 4% of people reckoned that if there was a sudden catastrophic emergency they would know all about it from their local newspaper or local news. Given that about 22% of people who had several weeks of warning didn’t know what it was for that seems to be ineffective.
A few bright sparks wondered why we needed it because of the siren system – which was decommissioned in the 1980s.
There were of course the obvious ‘independent thinker’ who burbled on about government mind control but these were not included in the analysis because they are pillocks and no one cares about them.
What is it for?
The information on the official page cites:
You may get alerts about:
- severe flooding
- fires
- extreme weather
This is of course not an exhaustive list. This system is in use in many countries and has proved invaluable in saving lives.
A government spokesman did mention that the people who didn’t receive an alert were ones that had NOT been allocated space in the fallout shelters in the event of a nuclear attack. They didn’t want this to be common knowledge.
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