There have been many theories why babies kick while in the womb. A team from the University of Tokyo have used advanced imaging techniques to gain an in-depth understanding. Astonishing insight suggests 80% chance babies are evil.
As any mother who has perched a cup of tea or a pizza on their rounded bump can tell you, babies like to kick. Typically this is without warning, and can happen at anytime. Favourite times are as the mother is desperately trying to get to sleep, exhausted by waddling around with a massive hump.
Dr Hoshinori Kanazawa of the University of Tokyo explained how they carried out high precision of 12 newborn babies, combined with mathematical modelling to form an idea of what is going on in the sensimotor system. “our results implied that infants develop their own sensorimotor system based on explorational behavior or curiosity, so they are not just repeating the same action but a variety of actions.”
Does this explain what is happening in the womb?
He explained that they have had attempted some high definition ultrasound observations to extend the study with surprising results.
80% chance babies are evil
Dr Kanazawa was pensive and looked around to ensure no-one was listening in. “Look, it’s difficult to get the same precision with ultrasound so we can’t be certain.”
He went on to explain that their observations indicated that while some of the kicking and punching activity might be explained by the babies testing and exploring their sensimotor systems there was a 90% chance that they were timing it deliberately to annoy their mothers. “They know when their mother is drifting off to sleep and they time their kicks for maximum impact”. His colleague explained that they had also observed kicking and punching being highly correlated with times when the mother is happy or relaxed. “It’s like they want to make the mother’s life miserable”.
That sounds pretty evil.
While Dr Kanazawa would not confirm that suggestion, his colleague grabbed his elbow and displayed an expression that conveyed concern that I had guessed what was in their minds.
“I get that you are scientists and work with probabilities. What chance that babies are evil?”
As I left his colleague slipped a piece of paper into my hand. On the train I read what was on it. 80%.
Photo credit Photo by SHVETS production: https://www.pexels.com/photo/happy-pregnant-black-woman-sitting-on-couch-6991886/