Losing touch with reality: these are NOT dorm room essentials

If ever proof was needed that constant exposure to beauty products can rot the brain, the list of ’50 Dorm Room Essentials That’ll Have You Feeling Like the Campus Queen You Are’ provided by Cosmopolitan is surely that proof.

You have moved into the halls of residence where the room has just about anything enough space for a bed, small table, chair and a built in wardrobe. The remaining space is just about large enough to stand in – unless you have size 10 feet or larger. It is guaranteed that there isn’t enough space for a Jungalow Marin stackable pouf with casters, Francesca bar cart or a Galanz Retro compact Refrigerator – although the last is unlikely to be needed as there will be microwave in the communal kitchen. There certainly isn’t going to be space for the Suzani Coral rug (£200).

The Linoto 100% linen sheet set at £299 and the Justina Blakeney X Loloi blue dye pillow at £119 are certainly very nice, but possibly extravagant.

Anyone who has all lived in a dormitory will tell you that most have only two power sockets. They don’t want you to use a lot of power. So you have a plug for your laptop and the other swaps between the lamp and your electric toothbrush. It’s unlikely that you will have capacity for the essentials such as the Ninja DualBrew coffee maker, SUNBEAM heating pad, the microwave, Fairy String lights and oscillating 3 speed tower fan.

I am happy to concede that the list is not all stupidity and conspicuous consumption. The bathrobe, stick-on hooks, extension lead, black velvet coat hangers and underbed collapsible storage box are sensible ideas.

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