With alien abductions on the increase this is affecting availability of workers. The DWP is investigating and hopes to find a solution to the days lost and reduced productivity.
With concerns about the reduced work force due to people not returning to work after Covid layoffs and redundancies plus the impact of Brexit on availability of EU workers, anything that impacts on the availability of workers is taken seriously.
The Human Resources trade organisation The HR Director reports on a trend of increasing numbers of HR departments around the country reporting staff being absent due to alien abduction.
DWP representative Ian Ajiphy commented “There have always been a few people who have lost days at work due to alien abduction, but what we are seeing now is an unacceptable and rising number of cases”. He went on to explain that it is a difficult topic to discuss in public due to people who confuse aliens with migrants. “They are two different things and I just think people wilfully get confused so they can have a rant”.
We.contacted Tharg the Mighty (editor of 2000AD since 1977 and now alien ambassador) for a comment. “There are valid reasons why we abduct people. While we are superior beings, there are things that need doing around the ship that no-one can be bothered to design and build a bot to do. Who would want the indignity of being associated with a toilet cleaning bot? Far easier to abduct someone to do it and wipe their memories”.
So why the increase? “I dunno. I’ll ask about and get back to you.”.
HR Directors also reported increased numbers of absences due to ghosts but these have been dismissed as not credible.