Eli Twonk – Page 26 – The Daily Twerk

wind and sun tax consultation

With the predicted decline in tax income from oil, gas and road fuels a UK government working party has been established to propose mechanisms to tax wind and solar energy sources. Church of England objects to wind turbines on church spires.

By Eli Twonk

December 15, 2022January 13, 2024

General

Boris set for deportation – lefties get angry

Lefties and Socialists woke up today to get excited about the headlines that Boris is to deported. Imagine their disappointment…

By Eli Twonk

December 15, 2022January 13, 2024

superior coupl projecting their greatness

General

End of year lists that no one gives a shit about

The end of the year is when newspapers and TV channels resort to the cheap padding that lists offer.

By Eli Twonk

December 14, 2022January 13, 2024

Science

Another clitoris found

Giving up on the ability of male colleagues to find a clitoris, a PhD student and her female colleagues pushed them aside and showed them how to do it properly.

By Eli Twonk

December 14, 2022January 13, 2024

Politics

Nigel Farage: when there isn’t anything to rant about, make it up

The self-publicist and bogeyman inventor obviously has time on his hands now that he is pretty much irrelevant.
Now he is inventing the idea of hordes of armed immigrants.

By Eli Twonk

December 12, 2022January 13, 2024

Politics

The future for Matt Hancok

Announcing his intention to step down as an MP at the next election it is time to reflect on his career and guess what the hypocritical oppounists with a blatant disinterest for truth and integrity.will do next.

By Eli Twonk

December 8, 2022January 13, 2024

Life Style

Hipster more concerned with looking off-grid with a wood burning heater

Having a wood burner in your house gives that off-grid chic without going to the hassle of actually living off grid. Edginess for the apathetic.

By Eli Twonk

December 8, 2022January 13, 2024

Life Style

Losing touch with reality: these are NOT dorm room essentials

If ever proof was needed that constant exposure to beauty products can rot the brain, the list of ’50 Dorm Room Essentials That’ll Have You Feeling Like the Campus Queen You Are’ provided by Cosmopolitan is surely that proof.

By Eli Twonk

December 5, 2022January 13, 2024