Valentine card with picture of red roses from 1950s

Forgot it was Valentine’s Day today?

Well you still have time to run to the supermarket, but your partner will know because it wasn’t by the pillow this morning. So how are you going to make it okay? A relationship and dating expert provides essential advice.

Hal Iotosis is an expert and has even written a book. Previous advice on first dates for men has received lots of positive feedback. Here he gives advice that might get you off the hook for not buying a card.

You are better than tacky capitalist tokens

If your partner is one of those who occasionally rails against the encroachment of capitalism into every aspect of our daily lives then this should work well. Make sure that you buy a big brand box of chocolates to present.

The carbon footprint of cards doesn’t justify them

If your partner is aware of climate change then the carbon footprint of making cards, distributing them by lorries, the heating and electricity in the shop will hardly justify having a card on the sideboard for a few days.

How can a mass produced card reflect our unique love?

If you can produce the right amount of sincerity to deliver this then you may also get bonus sex. Practice delivering this line in front of a mirror first.

I knew you were too grown up for childish things like that

Ensure you can say this without a hint of sarcasm or irony. You have got to mean it.

But you aren’t into religious stuff..

Okay, the whole valentine thing is about as religious as the Easter Bunny, but she was a saint…

Best of luck!

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